Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Randomize
