I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
