There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
