I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
