If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
