i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Randomize
