My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
