I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
