note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
