You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
