i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Randomize
