note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
