You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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