the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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