Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
