Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize