Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
