i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
