I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
