dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize
