just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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