what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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