i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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