girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
