Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
