Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
