Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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