Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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