I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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