Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
