He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
