Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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