I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
My liver just had a heart attack.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
