guys are not supposed to queef...right?
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
