i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Randomize
