Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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