Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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