I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Randomize