and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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