just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Randomize
