Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I'm too high and old for this...
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
