I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize