Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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