It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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