I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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