What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I love you. Go after that dick
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
