did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
