HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Send help, water and tortillas.
My breasts were aching with rage.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Sorry about my life...
I don't want my vagina anymore.
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