think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Randomize
