I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
