Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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