you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
