So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize