cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Randomize
