I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
what day is it and did you see me today?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Randomize
