JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
