From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
