Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
