Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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