I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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